Menanti biar sampai akhir hayatku di dunia ini
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Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti
Hanya takdir menentukan ia
Oh belaian jiwa
Somehow ______ made me realise why Syahrul Naem exist in this world, and it's pretty much not a good thing. I feel that I'm the centre of all the problems caused between people, and when something is wrong, it all boils down to me, yes ME. Maybe, I'm the kind that you can take advantage of, my kindness, my love and everything I did for you. But for me, it's hard to keep up with such an expectation. I'm no angelic figure nor am I a devil in disguise. I'm human too, like you. You who wished to be love.
I'm stuck. Stuck in all sort of shits happening around me, to me. Stuck in a relationship, stuck in my studies, stuck with the responsibilities in college, stuck with not having friends I could really open up to. Well, as much as you think I am living a great life, that is just crap. You don't know how stressed I am to be labelled by you.
People say, run away - the best solution of it all. But I'm no coward. I'm facing reality and reality isn't very good to me. My physical well-being is deteriorating, my mental capacity is shutting down soon. Is this the end of me soon?
I've a lot of doubts in my life. Doubts that remain unanswered. R, I need you but now I'm having my own doubts about you.
Labels: is this the way it should be