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Syahrul Naem Bin Jailani
150991
Aspiring Architect/Fashion Designer
I just want to make my parents proud, that's all.
14 April 2009 | 4:33:00 PM

Sometimes, I don't know why I play pretend.
Pretending to be someone I'm not, pretending that everyone looks up to me because I'm this and that.
And today, I realise that my game of pretence is over.



I can stop pretending that I'm a Track & Field athlete because maybe I'm just not cut out to be one. I know I've been saying "Everything's fine and a-okay" but it sucks knowing you are just not good enough to qualify to the next finals. It sucks knowing you have to come in last because every other athlete you're competing with are just god-damn good in their own fields while I am just a... noob even with 9 years of experience. I keep trying and trying, hoping that one day a miracle would happen but hell no. I'm always that loser that came in last. I'm having this sucky feeling in me and I don't really feel nice about it. Today marks the end of my Track days. I'm just not fit to be in such a prestigious category of athletes.



I think I should just stop pretending in whatever things I'm doing as of now. I should stop pretending I'm smarter than the average student in YJC just because I take 4 H2s. That doesn't qualify me to be that 'elite' student, as I've already scored two U grades in my examination. I should stop pretending that I'm 'someone' in the school, because I'm just not. And maybe I should stop pretending I have friends, when maybe I don't have any at all. PLUS stop pretending that R will ever turn around because I want it to be so.



I hate this game of pretence! It's ruining my life. ARRGGGGHHHH!

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