I came across a blog, a friend of mine. I got reminded of the past, and what I wanted to be. I think I've never told anyone the full story but here goes...

I remembered I was beyond ecstasy when I got my PSLE results. I even cried because I never thought I would get straight As. And that was the time, when my parents were really proud of me. But when posting results came, I was disappointed. I wanted to get into Victoria School but no one from my school got into VS. Sadly, I was posted to Ahmad Ibrahim Secondary.

Oh well, it was one of the best neighbourhood schools. So it lifted my spirits a bit. I went through a lot during my time in there. Mostly ups, because I had my company of friends who never failed to cheer my school days. Then O Level came.

Prelims were okay I guess. The fact that I didn't study much due to the Art Coursework that we had to rush for (even on the day of the deadline itself). I qualified to go into a Junior College for the first three months with 15 points. And I chose to enter Yishun Junior College, because I didn't know other JCs would accept anyone with any points during the first three months (could have gone to Meridian JC, damn).

PAE was a whole lot of FUN! I met the greatest people in there and definitely those whom I would cherish for a long time. There were talks about going to other JCs after results. And most of us were in favour of going elsewhere.

O Level results came. I was hoping to do much better than Prelims given that I knew I studied hard. For a second, when I got back the results, I was crying tears of happiness because I had an A1 for the most unexpected subject - Art. I did okay overall with L1R4 of 14 points. I knew I hadn't a chance to go into any good JCs, so I tried my luck in appealing to NYJC through Art and TPJC.

Both appeals were rejected consecutively. I hit rock bottom again, and I was really disappointed. Mum knew best, and she gave me good sound advices to cheer me up. So, I gave my everything into it. Being in YJC gave me opportunities which I wasn't given throughout my school years. I represented the college at various competitions, I did well in the exams and got promoted as the top 20% in the college.

And right now, I'm this close to taking my Prelims and then A Levels, and the only worry I have is whether I could get a scholarship. I need it because I don't think my parents could afford paying for furthering my studies. I'm working hard, maybe not hard enough, but at least I'm trying. I know I can't give up on myself, because no one has given up on me yet. I need to prove to everyone that I'm capable of greater things and not just the average among the creme of the crop.

Just so you know, I'm striving for a PSC scholarship which could get me to any universities. I need to work hard, but right now, my academic results aren't showing the hardwork. Sigh.