All this hype about Love at this age is so overrated. Me and a friend came out with a theory when we were discussing about Love in general. We strongly feel that Love shouldn't be made into a word. It is more often than not used in a callous and careless manner. To express such an unexplainable and undescribable feeling or a rush of emotion into a word (or a man-made invention) does not do justice to what we really feel. 'Love' alone does not truly express this. It takes much more, and that is what we as human beings don't know. It is like another level of understanding that is beyond human knowledge. Love just comes and go without us knowing. It takes us by surprise and it is that sudden jolt of emotions that makes you feel wonderful, joyful, butterflies in the stomach kinda feeling.
So it is rather ironic that I'd say I gave up on love. I can't and I won't ever be. If it was meant for me, it will be mine but it will take some time and patience. God's miracles work in a special way that we humans don't even begin to know. There's no doubting or questioning His Powers. He is afterall The Almighty. Now I'm telling myself, it's all going to take some time and some patience. Let 'Love' (as it is called) come by naturally. I shouldn't force it nor should I prevent it. But right now, all I need is a little time-out to breathe, to start afresh which is why NS is coming at a good time :)
I've forgiven R. It's been hard on you and I don't want to blame you too much. Knowing you for the past 1 year plus changed my Life. You gave more than I could accept. You taught me about Life and its challenges. You gave me hope to continue fighting on. You were my motivation for everything I do. Blaming everything on you was a wrong move that I truly regret. And I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you throughout the years we knew each other. You are special, and you'll always be. (If only I could tell you that now)
Maybe, 'stalker' was right afterall. Reflecting about the people in my Life, I have some major forgiving to make. It's never too late right? I mean our Prophet forgave his people, why not us human beings? For such an admirable person, our Prophet was grounded and humble. He is everything that human beings should aspire to be and we can. It just takes a little time, a little kindness, a little patience, a little of everything. Insya'allah we'll be okay :)
Lastly, farewell to everyone who reads this blog. I'm not going to be gone forever. It's a new startin my Life just as how every New Year marks a new adventure in our lives. I don't really know what to expect from this experience but I'm going to have fun! It's the least I could do to make full use out of it. Anyway, I haven't told most of my friends about my enlistment, but that's okay. It'll be easier for me to handle the situation :) Heh.
WFA only: I miss you pretty much alot. I know you're going to be sad, but believe me God is making our lives much more exciting. Pray for me okay? That's the best farewell gift you can ever give to me. I look forward to meeting you after I book out, like we have always talked about. I love you :)