Woah, I didn't expect life after A's to be such a whirlwind. Everything's zooming passed so fast I don't even know where I was a second ago. And as I have expected before A's, life now isn't really the same anymore. Too many things happening at one time can be quite conflicting and it'snot really good for the soul. Oh well.

Okay what I'm going to say next is all the emo shizz that I've been writing about. You can skip it if you want to but I bet you'll read it anyway. Stop lying. Haha.

I went to my grandmum's grave yesterday to seek some solace. My aunt told me that when grandmum was alive, she never let anyone hurt or scold me for anything. She was protective of me and always giving me the best among my other siblings. So I was thinking, what if she was still alive right now? Will I be hurt the same way I did, and could problems be less complicated than it is now? Maybe I could have been a better person, be in a better situation than I am in right now. I wouldn't have faced the pain I'm facing now. I would be rather be single forever with grandmum by my side than having to be hurt just to be loved. It's so ironic - Hurt begets Love.

With these 4 days I'm left with, I've given up almost my entire being trying to tell you how much I love you. But all that came out from it was... nothing. No calls, no text messages, no emails. My strength depletes with every minute that has gone passed. If I do this any longer, I'll crumble. So I'm giving you up. If you're much happier without me, then I'm giving you up. If you deserve someone better, then I'm giving you up. If I'm no longer in your heart like I used to be at, then I'm giving you up. There's really no point for me to keep waiting because you needed time. I gave you plenty but all you wanted was more. I can't be your angel from God, because you treated me unlike one. I can't be your perfect lover, because you're never there with me to begin with.

To God: If I was never meant to feel a fraction of love, then take me away from this world. I rather be with You.