Someone told me, "Work hard, work smart".
I'll just have to take one step at a time.

Haven't been doing very well in school lately, academic-wise.
Especially Math.
I just wonder where the enthusiasm I had for Maths in Sec 4 went to.
It's really frustrating to not know most of the questions in tutorial while the rest can answer them as easy as 123.
Yet, I'm still stuck in the midst of... nothing.

I keep falling asleep in tutorials nowadays.
Maybe I'm just tired, pushed to my limits.
But I know, I'm much stronger than this.
I just have to find it within me.
In the words of Chanel Ali, it exudes from within. Haha.

I need to do well in Promos, that's a need, not a want.
I need to cope with studies, CCAs and other stuff I just had to get involved with.
Maybe I'm stupid to even be forced doing something I don't want to.
But if it's out of kindness (or maybe I'm too kind), why not right?
But then, there's a saying that sounds like if you help others and not yourself, you'll lose out terribly.

And to be in that situation sucks.
Sigh.

Labels: i never want to be what you wanted me to be.

These past few days, I've been quite busy with college stuff.
There was the Pre-U rehearsals, Sports Heats, WR and other whatnots.
And R's been missing for the past weeks.

I can't say what I'm feeling now because if I did, it wouldn't turn out right.
And seeing others having a good time, with or without partners, makes me envious.
I know this is JC life.
Just a little more than one month till Promos too.

I can't deny the fact that I'm unprepared.
That I need all the help that I should have.
But things aren't going too well.

I wonder if I really understand all these that are happening to me right now.
Or is it just ignorance?
I'll go figure, but in the meantime, I've to put my head in the game.
I'll try to, at least.




(P.S I really, really, really miss you. It seems that I've lost you)

Labels: i never want to be what you wanted me to be.

Junior College.
Such a prestigious place to be in.
And ironically, it's hell when you're already in it.

R's been busy with the debate competition.
So I'm spending much lesser time with R.
Situation sucks, but I've to live with it.


Anyway, my sleeping pattern have changed yaww.
I'm starting to sleep at 8pm and waking up at 12am to study till school starts.
I've discovered my secret super powers - nocturnal mammal -.-!

Nationals have been fun, ogling and cheering at the same time.
Such fun! Tsk.
I've to start studying harder, weekly tests are starting next week. Yay?
The sound of Promos and Retain scares the shit out of me, seriously.

Labels: i never want to be what you wanted me to be.