At first, I thought, yesterday, was going to be life-changing.
But for the umpteenth time, I was wrong.
And I was disappointed.


You didn't make the least effort to remember the date.
But if M was right, thanks for the message that you sent through the stars.
Yes, it was brighter than usual, but I wished for something else.
I know you know.

Labels: to R.

6th of February,
May not mean anything to anyone
But to one soul, it means the world to him.
This is the date when two people made a promise,
To love one another to their best capabilities
To cherish one another
With the stars and the moon being their only witnesses.

This date, two years ago, things were fresh and chirpy.
Life seemed so easy like falling on a bed of cotton candy clouds.
We were like two little kids simply contented with sharing a huge swirly colourful lollipop.
Never had one been deeply in love with the other before,
Because nothing else mattered to him except you.

You came into his life like a ray of sunshine,
Lighting up even the darkest corners of his being.
You held his heart in the most gentle manner as if it was a full empty eggshell,
Easily broken into tiny pieces.
But as time passed by, you filled that empty shell of a heart that he has with your love.
You made him feel like a million bucks,
Because you didn't want to lose him at all.

This may be a little cliche,
But he felt like the luckiest sapien in the universe just by having you.
Both of you know what you have aren't just ordinary.
Because when you learn to live by each other's wrongdoings and imperfections,
Love takes up a higher level.
Both of you weren't in love,
you were into each other.
And it is that tiny bit of difference that made both of you special.

Within these two years,
You and him matured through the many ups and downs.
Even though sometimes you were mad at each other, confused and felt like giving up,
You stood by each other because it wasn't worth breaking up.
Both of you sought guidance from God through your darkest moments,
With or without each other.
But at the end of the day, you came back to each other,
Because you were most comfortable with one another.

This year, 6th of February 2010,
He hopes to hear from you tonight.
In the spirit of reminding you who you are to him,
To assure himself that you're still part of him.
His feelings for you never changed since he met you
And he wants to make things right.
You said to him,
"You have the right to love anyone",
He would choose anyone,
But you are his choice.

Please make his wish come true tonight,
That is the least that he asked of you.

Labels: to R.

Labels: to R.

I don't know who you are anymore.
Give back the person I fell in love with.

Because I keep thinking of you.

Labels: to R.

Dear R,

I know things haven't been working out well between us. And I suspect that you've been reading my blog, trying to understand how I feel. I've been complaining too much, explaining too little. So, I'm explaining to you now. Even though you're not with me, I pray for you everytime I have the chance to. I pray to God that you'll be able to overcome all obstacles in life, be successful in whatever you do and be a good Muslim. I guess you don't know this.

I have to tell you that I can't wait my whole life for you. You cannot come back into my life whenever you want to because I don't function that way. You can tell me all the words of love in the world, but have you ever prove it to me? You do things without explaining yourself. And maybe you do things without thinking about others. That may just be one of your flaws. I know I have to accept you the way you are but I really want you to change for the better.

Time can change feelings towards another. I don't feel the same towards you now than I had before. And you know why it is so. WFA's been helping me a lot to overcome these emotional setbacks I had. Sometimes when I feel like giving up, he would bring me back to my feet. If it wasn't for WFA, I wouldn't be where I am now.

I need you to explain. Explain to me everything. Tell me what I have to know. I'm not a stranger to you, syg. I am, afterall, yours.

Hugs and Kisses,
Syahrul

Labels: to R.

What do you do when they think that your relationship ain't going to work out?
You'll stay by it.

If you know that all these quarrels and arguments you're facing will make this relationship stronger, by all means quarrel and argue.
Because in the first place, real love doesn't come in a perfect package.
Everyone gets mad at one another at some point(s).

So, I'm telling you now, blame yourself for all the fights you've caused with your partners.
Blame yourself for getting so much heartaches one is able to hold.
Blame yourself for the teary nights you experience.
Blame yourself for loving her/him to the point that you're certain this is going to be forever.

And, I'm telling you R, for all the anger, the tears and the lonely nights i felt, I am positively sure what we have will turn out fine at the end of the day.
I'll wait as long as it takes.
I'll swim the widest ocean, jump from the highest mountain, run through the biggest desert, just to be with you.
I pray that you'll excel in life and if I'm not there to share your happiness, I'm the one who is losing out on life's greatest miracle.
And if I never lived through this life as much as I want to, I'll pray to God to donate my happiness, my love to you for you can love a much better person.

I love you, that's all I really have to say.

Labels: i'm everything i am because you love me, to R.

I feel worst today than any other day.
And I did the most stupidest thing today.
I teared during break fast at Tampines Mall in front of my family because I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just can't take it anymore.


I want you back :'(

Labels: how's love?, to R.

Yesterday, I turned 17 at 12.05pm.
Yeah, that's about it.


And R, I've nothing to say to you right now.
I've had enough, fullstop.

Labels: to R.

ZOMG I'm addicted to Brown Boy's Superman because of the Great and Glamorous Queen of Egypt.
Go listen.

Anyway, R's having exams.
I wish you all the very best for your exams.
I'll keep you in my prayers, in my mind and my heart.
I want you to know that you make me so proud of you.
There's never a day that went by without you in my heart.
Focus and study well.
I'll wait for you after your exams and you can tell me all about them.
Syg, I really love you.

It's the last week of the term!
OMG I can't wait, I can't wait!

Labels: to R.

I made a promise to Allah, I won't disturb you unnecessarily. That's my only reason I've not been messaging or calling you. That's why I've been avoiding you lately. I've been through a lot of downs recently, and as much as I want to cry on your shoulders, I won't. These are Allah's ways to let me know that I'm stronger than this. Syg, I have you in my mind and my heart every second I breathe. I'm afraid to close my eyes and sleep every night. I'm afraid I won't wake up to see my family, friends and especially you. I'm afraid because I know how it feels like to see someone you love slipping from your hands like air. I just want to let you know that you're not lost from my life. Till the day my life is through and every word I say is true, I promise you.


(P.S. I love you)

Labels: to R.

Sometimes I wonder if I demand too much.
For something you find it hard to give.
You've been too busy, and unfortunately you've no time for me.
You're always busy with others, and you can't spare me a bit of time.
It's unfair to me, because I thought you were mine and mine only :(

Labels: how's love?, to R.

I got 1 and a half of my results back.
Another 2 and a half to go.
All I can say is alhamdulillah.
I hope I'll do much better for Promotional Exams.


Just a shoutout,
I miss your love, baby.

Labels: Post-BT, to R.

I hate this. Period.

Labels: to R.